Sep 12, 2012

Wait, what???

Before I was married I would tell people how my nieces and nephews would say the funniest things. Then I'd try to think of things they had said and would draw a blank. Now that I'm married, and have the privelage of being around Tucker and Grace on a daily basis, I can honestly say that much like my nieces and nephews, they say the FUNNIEST things.

 The difference is now I immediately pull out my phone and text myself their verbal comedy. While both Tucker and Grace make me laugh, Tucker tends to be the more "random" of the duo, which results in a moment of confusion before bursting into laughter.

So without further adieu, here are some of the things they have said over the past couple weeks. I apologize to those of you who stalk my facebook, because a few of these have been posted recetly. Let's start with the drama queen herself... Grace Eden!

** GRACE: (While falling asleep in the backseat on a late night drive home) "Momma, how do you tell if you're pregnant?
BONNIE: "Well, Grace, they give you a test."
GRACE: "I bet one of the first questions is, is your tummy getting bigger?"
BONNIE: (Holding in her laughter - I'm already cracking up) "No Grace not that kind of test. They either test your blood or your tinkle"
GRACE: "Oooh, I bet I'd be good at that. I tinkle all the time, even in my sleep!"

** GRACE: "Mom guess what? There's this girl in my class named McKenna and someone's crushin' on her!
BONNIE: (With a dreadfully confused look on her face) "What does that mean?"
GRACE: "Well, like there is a boy in class who writes her anonymous notes that say like, 'you're hot' and stuff." (Ladies and Gents... She's 8. WHAT?!?!?!)

** GRACE: "Mom I think I can hear the baby eating food inside you."


Now for the T-man himself... Tucker Cliff! Brace yourself... these are GEMS!

** TUCKER: (As we pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot) "Hey Scott guess what? Dairy Queen and Burger King are married."

** TUCKER: (As I dropped him off for school on a breezy 82 degree August morning) "It's cold outside. It's almost Winter. It's probably gonna snow soon."

** TUCKER: (While we were all eating out) "Scott must be having a baby too cuz his belly is getting bigger than Mommas!"

** TUCKER: (As we pulled into the Home Depot parking lot and I was flipping through radio stations) "Hey I know who sings that song."
ME: "Who"
TUCKER: "Justin Bieber"
ME: "You like Justin Bieber?"
ME: "He sings like a girl huh?"
ME: "You like guys who sing like girls?"
ME: "That's cool... I guess. But are you just saying yes to everything I say?"

** TUCKER: (As he is walking around the garage carrying a saw while I build our ramp) "Hey Scott, wanna know what's free from a tree?"
ME: "What?"
TUCKER: "An Apple. But you can't take the whole tree. That would make Heavenly Father sad."

** TUCKER: (Still while we're building the ramp) "Scott, what else do people build with wood?"
ME: "Lots of stuff. Like houses, and tables."
TUCKER: "Ya, lots of people like building houses for work. No work, no money!"
Me: That's true bud, you're really smart!

** TUCKER: (Just as he found the marker I was looking all over for) "Here is the marker!"
ME: "Oh, awesome, thanks bud. You have really good eye sight!"
TUCKER: "I know, it's because I eat a lot of carrots. I eat so many carrots I can almost see outer space. But not all the way. You have to eat A LOT of carrots to see outer space!"

** TUCKER: (After running around in the front yard and returning to the garage) "I wish I was dark skinned, then I'd be happy."
ME: (Stopping everything I'm doing with a confused look on my face) "What? Why?"
TUCKER: "Then bees won't sting me."
ME: (Even more confused now) "Wait, bees don't sting dark skinned people?"
TUCKER: "Nope, they just like light skin people."

That's the T-man himself!