A few years back I ran into an old friend at church. This friend was a girl. The last time I had seen this girl I was strategically positioning myself as close as I could to her just moments before the final slow song at a Saturday night dance. She was a hot commodity!
We conversed briefly, shared a few laughs, and exchanged phone numbers. I did the proper thing and waited a few days before I called her. We chatted for a bit and agreed to go out that weekend. Seeing as how she lived in hour away is BFE and I was unfamiliar with anything to do out there, I gave her the reigns. I believe my exact words were, “whatever you wanna do.” Those 4 words lead to the most expensive date of my life!
The morning of our rendezvous I called to find out what she wanted to do. Much to my chagrin she expressed a strong desire to see the final installment in “The Work and the Glory” movie series. Being polite I agreed to the movie and asked if there was something else she wanted to do before or after. Bare in mind it's been years since I've seen this girl, so I was dying for an opportunity to ramble incoherently about my life, and a movie didn't grant me that opportunity. She told me that next door to the movie theater was a place called “As You Wish.” It sounded like a jewelery store. I inquired further and she told me that it's a place where you paint pottery and then they bake it on and you can pick it up a few days later. Sounded harmless. I obliged.
Soooo... fast forward to “As You Wish,” and let the money flow! I picked a giant lizard off the shelf, she selected a guitar, we grabbed some paint and a few brushes from the counter, and proceeded to unleash our inner Picassos. The conversation was chuck full of reminiscing, witty banter, and bad date stories. I'd put our date on that list today, without hesitation.
After finishing painting, she offered to clean up while I took our classics to the counter to pay for them. I stood there admiring my freshly painted lizard and her psychedelically painted guitar while the cashier crunched some numbers. “One guitar, one lizard, 2 sitting fees, 2 paint fees, yada yada, ok your total comes to $52.50!
$52.50?!?!?!?! My heart skipped a beat, my jaw dropped, and I might have pooped my pants a little! The cashier was quick to notice my change in facial expression and in a light-hearted attempt to make me feel better she chuckled and said, “First time here isn't it?” I remained mute, but nodded slowly. I swiped my debit card, and took my time entering my pin, making sure to look behind me at least 5 or 6 times at my date still cleaning up our mess.
Fast forward again, to the moment we walked out of the theater and she saw the glowing Coldstone Creamery sign a mere 30 feet away. “Hey wanna get ice cream?” NOOOOOOOOOO! Please be closed, I thought over and over as we inched closer to the entrance. Thankfully, both me and my checking account breathed a sigh of relief when we noticed the “open” sign lacked it's usual luster.
I dropped her off and started the hour long journey back to the west side. I couldn't get over the fact that I had just spent $52.50 on pottery, and $20 on a cheese fest/chick flick with a religious undertone. I was almost speechless. I left the radio off and drove home in silence wondering how I get myself into those kinds of situations. Had I known this girl well at all, I wouldn't have been so frustrated about it.
BUT WAIT.... IT GETS BETTER! Here's the kicker! Long story short, over the next 3 weeks I learned the following:
1) She was already seriously dating a guy when we went out!
2) She gave the guitar she painted, AND I PAID FOR, to her boyfriend!
3) She got engaged!
The moral of this story? I don't know... It hurts to think about!
That'll do her!
